Caged

As of late I've been feeling quite like a caged animal. It's an anxiety I feel in my chest. I need to get out, away, something.

Right now is one of those times. It's incredibly frustrating. Currently my room is one big trash hole after an unsuccessful attempt to arrange my room differently. I cannot get any work done because I see the mess and get all anxious... then I want to clean it... but I don't have the time and I'm just going to tear it apart again in a few days when I get a chance to change it around.

Because my room is so messy it's easy to bump into something. Nothing is accessible. Right now my chair is on top of a stack of papers to be filed away. My living room is not much better. It just feels smaller then usual. Zack and Shelby just moved in; so now there are 4 people in the apt. I can feel it shrink. No one's fault, it just is. I need to get out of Indiana for a bit.

Also, the loudness is bothering me. I'm getting the beginning of a migraine I suppose. Sensitivity towards the loud morons outside at the bar, the ufc fighting, the sound of my keyboard!

The dirtiness and the amount of shit I need to get done is just stressful. Mainly the clutter. I need to do some readings. But my head is a fog and my stomach is a knot.

Why do I bring this on myself? How do I stop the endless cycle. What a mess I am.